[Sampo says he thought about it, for years, and Gepard inhales, a little sharp. Clearly it's just the crusty bread he was eating or something that caused it, and it's nothing that Sampo should look too much into.
Fortunately, the moment passes. Sampo turns the subject to his sister and Gepard snorts, amused despite himself. (It's really hard to remember to be sad or guarded when Sampo's being like this. It would be annoying if he thought too hard about it.) And Sampo calls him respectable and Gepard wants to point out that he's not that noteworthy, not anymore.
He doesn't.]
I'll just say nothing about it at all and you can succeed or fail on your own merits. If you're doing things honestly, then I have no reason to care, Sampo.
Can't you at least pretend that you'll be happy if I succeed? I'll be a rehabilitated man! A pillar of the community!
[And maybe certain handsome former guard captains would like to take rehabilitated pillars of the community to be happy for him in the adult way? That's really probably the best that he could hope for-- but what's life without a little ambition? A few hopeless dreams? Maybe he'll get a dreambubble the next time he's in Penacony and be sad and pathetic to his little metaphorical heart's content.]
Ah, I see how it is. I'll have to bribe you for it, won't I? You're not Captain anymore, you can take bribes.
[Gepard had been too honorable a man to take bribes when he was in the guard-- there were other men that weren't quite so upright as him that Sampo had gotten his hooks into once upon a time, for the right price or, once, the right act. (He'd actually been quite glad when that man had gotten kicked out for unrelated reasons. Like, sure, Sampo had done it, but that guy's the one who asked. Have a little class, man.) But now, Gepard could get bribed and it's not even really a bribe, it's just getting gifts.]
How many lemons would it take? Oranges? There's a lot of citrus in the galaxy! Maybe some grapefruit? Oh, something a little more rare, I could probably get some yuzu or pomelo.
[How much fruit does it take to buy out Gepard Landau?]
[He makes a noise at succeed. Neither positive nor neutral, just a noise acknowledging that he heard what Sampo said. As Sampo describes himself as a pillar of the community, Gepard can't resist cutting in with an exasperated,]
Sampo, please-
[But Sampo talks, as absurd as always. Bribes. He's just a guy, he's hardly anyone that Sampo would need to bribe, but Sampo brings up grapefruit and oranges, and he has Gepard's attention, it's obvious that he has his attention, and he can't help what slips out.]
What's a yuzu?
[If Sampo whipped out a yuzu right then and there he'd probably scoot in, that's how curious he is. It sounds...interesting?]
[Wow, so maybe the way to Gepard's heart really is through vitamin C. The man is clearly interested in the prospect of getting his hands on more citrus fruits, and like. That's not how Sampo expected this conversation to go, but he's not going to look a gift crystal lizard in the gizzard.]
It's a fruit, kind of looks like a small orange? Tastes like if you crossed a grapefruit and a mandarin.
[Sampo can't just pull one out of his pocket-- he keeps a lot of things in there, but not an entire fruit stand-- but he can pull a picture up on his phone to show Gepard. See, there you go, it's a real thing. Sampo isn't just making up words.]
I'll get some for you! It'll be my first import, once I get everything up and running.
[He does lean in as he's shown a yuzu. He does make an appreciative, curious noise, an-]
Oh.
[Because that's sure a picture of a fruit on a phone.]
It sounded like the sort of thing you'd make up. [Well- and Gepard leans back again.] Sorry. But, well, it does. A yuzu, a pomelo, I only believe in a grapefruit because I've had one once. [And only once. Very tart.]
My- [Can he trust Sampo with this?
...apparently so. He can give this much to him, in an apology, and the slightest of olive branches.] My daughter likes fruit, you see. I'm always interested in letting her try something new.
I see! [The real way to Gepard Landau's heart, or maybe just his pants, then, isn't really fruit bribes nor other standard seduction practices-- it's via his adored daughter. An unusual tactic, to be sure, but Sampo's never shied away from new methods. Adapt, improvise, overcome! If he can get little Miss Lily to like him, than Gepard won't be far behind.] I'll have to get more than just citrus, then! Mango, maybe? Pineapple?
[What fruits do little girls like? A question that Sampo would've never thought that he'd have to answer.]
Does she prefer something sweet? [He grins, leaning forward a little towards Gepard. Bastard behavior.] Or maybe her daddy does?
[Ever wanted to hear Sampo call you daddy, Gepard? Probably not, but that's just how it is in this bitch of a galaxy.]
[Sampo suggests mangos. He mentions a pineapple. And Gepard is about to say something helpful, useful, and then - Sampo leans in. He sees that shit eating grin. He can practically smell the bastard behavior, taste it, see it coming.]
Sampo-
[But he can't stop it, and as Sampo calls him daddy, well. He can't say he likes it, but it puts a blush on his face, a certain heat on the back of his neck, and gives him ideas he can't quite squash.]
If you're going to call me names, I'd rather you stuck with Geppie over calling me that.
[A concession, or a white flag of surrender, it's tough to tell.]
[Lost that game, Gepard. You're Geppie now, it's the nickname from hell that will never leave you. Blame your sister, maybe, or your parents for naming you something that could be shortened into something cute.]
[And Sampo enjoys teasing him too, of course. It's nice, talking with Gepard always makes him feel things.]
You didn't answer the question, though! I'm sure little Miss Lily loves having a sweet treat, but you're trying them, too. I should get things that you'll both enjoy. [A grin, a little Cheshire-cat tilt of his head.] I'm a people-pleaser like that.
[It's taking a lot to keep from outright retreating, and, worse, while he doesn't know how he feels about Sampo calling him daddy (besides definitely feeling something), Gepard has to confront the fact he actually kind of enjoys Sampo calling him Geppie. Things he never wanted to learn about himself.]
You really don't need to go out of your way to please me. [And then he immediately fucking makes a face, like someone had taken an exceptionally sour lemon and shoved it right in his mouth, because he hadn't meant to say it like that but it came out like that, and the second it came out he realized how it sounded. And now there it is, sitting there.]
[As always, Gepard is a gift. He makes that little slip of the tongue— oh, if only Gepard knew how he’d like to please him— and Sampo cackles, laughing like it’s the first good joke that he’s heard in a long time.]
[He trails off after a bit and wipes a tear from his eye.]
Do you even have to ask? [This is one of those things that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. The time that Gepard Landau talked about being pleased by Sampo Koski, out loud. Sent that right out into the universe.] Ahah, that was a good one. Don’t worry, Gepard, I’ll gladly go out of my way to please you.
[Again— in more ways than dear Geppie expects. But that’s either for him to find out later, after Sampo has weaseled his way further into his life, or not, if he hasn’t. Gepard’s could always rebuff him, send him packing. Leave him to his lonely rooftop stalking.]
[There's no words for how badly he wants to assault Sampo right about now, but even if he retired he's still a Silvermane Captain in certain respects, and too well bred to throw a mug at Sampo's face for saying that.
So there's really only one way of dealing with- technically two, but retreat is not an option.]
Then I look forward to the new and exciting ways you'll try to pleasure me with. [Gepard says it incredibly deadpan, just- go on. Out with it. Make the jokes. He won't run from them.]
[Where retreat is not an option, Gepard does as any good soldier would— marches bravely forward. Even if it’s into a trap.]
Oh, do you have exciting tastes? I didn’t know you were that kind of man! You’re so full of surprises.
[Is Gepard really exciting in that way? Who knows, though Sampo would guess that he probably isn’t. He’s such a stalwart and steady man, he probably likes it missionary in the marital bed, like Qlipoth intended. But he’s also a military man, good at taking orders, so there’s always the possibility that he could be trained…]
[Well! Fantasies for another day. Sampo can be a sadsack about attractive men that he’s never seen naked in the privacy of his own bedroom.]
I really will have to import some exotic things to impress you, then. There are things on Penacony that would blow your mind, I’m sure of it!
[Sampo calls his tastes exciting in that mocking way of his - in which they both knew that he was full of shit. Gepard makes a face at him.
In a different lifetime, under slightly different circumstances, this would be the prelude to an arrest attempt and in a few minutes, Sampo would end up being chased. But they don't live that life. Gepard Landau quit his job.
And if the Aeons chose this moment to bless Gepard with a limited form of telepathy, let him see all of Sampo's thoughts, he'd say his dick is small, his tastes are boring, and the rest of him is boring, why. And then he'd have fantasies for the next month.
But, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss, and Gepard instead says,]
Of course you've been to Penacony. [Even sad single dads from the middle of nowhere know about Penacony. Of course Sampo has. Of course Sampo somehow found his way there.] You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
[If Gepard had tried to tell him that his dick was small, Sampo wouldn't have believed him. He knows in his heart of hearts that Gepard is hung, or at least he hopes that he is. But, really, even in the unlikely event that he hadn't been blessed with an Earthwork in his pants, Sampo wouldn't have cared that much. Big penis, small penis, average sized penis-- he can work with all kinds! And last he checked, Gepard has two perfectly working hands and a mouth, so, really, if you can't make do with that, you just lack imagination.]
[But Gepard's ignorance is also his bliss, and they talk about Penacony instead of penises.]
I have! It's a fun place, you should visit sometime. [Who doesn't love Penacony? A world of dreams, full of wonder. And with plenty of entertainment for both adults and kids.] You have a lot more free time now, don't you? Maybe you should think about taking a trip.
[Just think about it, Geppie. Let that rattle around the old brain for a while, ruminate on it a bit. A fun little trip off of Belobog, for you and your little girl.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-11-13 04:41 am (UTC)Fortunately, the moment passes. Sampo turns the subject to his sister and Gepard snorts, amused despite himself. (It's really hard to remember to be sad or guarded when Sampo's being like this. It would be annoying if he thought too hard about it.) And Sampo calls him respectable and Gepard wants to point out that he's not that noteworthy, not anymore.
He doesn't.]
I'll just say nothing about it at all and you can succeed or fail on your own merits. If you're doing things honestly, then I have no reason to care, Sampo.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-14 02:35 am (UTC)[And maybe certain handsome former guard captains would like to take rehabilitated pillars of the community to be happy for him in the adult way? That's really probably the best that he could hope for-- but what's life without a little ambition? A few hopeless dreams? Maybe he'll get a dreambubble the next time he's in Penacony and be sad and pathetic to his little metaphorical heart's content.]
Ah, I see how it is. I'll have to bribe you for it, won't I? You're not Captain anymore, you can take bribes.
[Gepard had been too honorable a man to take bribes when he was in the guard-- there were other men that weren't quite so upright as him that Sampo had gotten his hooks into once upon a time, for the right price or, once, the right act. (He'd actually been quite glad when that man had gotten kicked out for unrelated reasons. Like, sure, Sampo had done it, but that guy's the one who asked. Have a little class, man.) But now, Gepard could get bribed and it's not even really a bribe, it's just getting gifts.]
How many lemons would it take? Oranges? There's a lot of citrus in the galaxy! Maybe some grapefruit? Oh, something a little more rare, I could probably get some yuzu or pomelo.
[How much fruit does it take to buy out Gepard Landau?]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-14 02:49 am (UTC)Sampo, please-
[But Sampo talks, as absurd as always. Bribes. He's just a guy, he's hardly anyone that Sampo would need to bribe, but Sampo brings up grapefruit and oranges, and he has Gepard's attention, it's obvious that he has his attention, and he can't help what slips out.]
What's a yuzu?
[If Sampo whipped out a yuzu right then and there he'd probably scoot in, that's how curious he is. It sounds...interesting?]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-14 03:55 am (UTC)It's a fruit, kind of looks like a small orange? Tastes like if you crossed a grapefruit and a mandarin.
[Sampo can't just pull one out of his pocket-- he keeps a lot of things in there, but not an entire fruit stand-- but he can pull a picture up on his phone to show Gepard. See, there you go, it's a real thing. Sampo isn't just making up words.]
I'll get some for you! It'll be my first import, once I get everything up and running.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-17 04:19 am (UTC)Oh.
[Because that's sure a picture of a fruit on a phone.]
It sounded like the sort of thing you'd make up. [Well- and Gepard leans back again.] Sorry. But, well, it does. A yuzu, a pomelo, I only believe in a grapefruit because I've had one once. [And only once. Very tart.]
My- [Can he trust Sampo with this?
...apparently so. He can give this much to him, in an apology, and the slightest of olive branches.] My daughter likes fruit, you see. I'm always interested in letting her try something new.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-20 12:09 am (UTC)[What fruits do little girls like? A question that Sampo would've never thought that he'd have to answer.]
Does she prefer something sweet? [He grins, leaning forward a little towards Gepard. Bastard behavior.] Or maybe her daddy does?
[Ever wanted to hear Sampo call you daddy, Gepard? Probably not, but that's just how it is in this bitch of a galaxy.]
no subject
Date: 2024-11-20 01:29 am (UTC)Sampo-
[But he can't stop it, and as Sampo calls him daddy, well. He can't say he likes it, but it puts a blush on his face, a certain heat on the back of his neck, and gives him ideas he can't quite squash.]
If you're going to call me names, I'd rather you stuck with Geppie over calling me that.
[A concession, or a white flag of surrender, it's tough to tell.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-03 05:02 am (UTC)[Lost that game, Gepard. You're Geppie now, it's the nickname from hell that will never leave you. Blame your sister, maybe, or your parents for naming you something that could be shortened into something cute.]
[And Sampo enjoys teasing him too, of course. It's nice, talking with Gepard always makes him feel things.]
You didn't answer the question, though! I'm sure little Miss Lily loves having a sweet treat, but you're trying them, too. I should get things that you'll both enjoy. [A grin, a little Cheshire-cat tilt of his head.] I'm a people-pleaser like that.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-11 03:19 am (UTC)You really don't need to go out of your way to please me. [And then he immediately fucking makes a face, like someone had taken an exceptionally sour lemon and shoved it right in his mouth, because he hadn't meant to say it like that but it came out like that, and the second it came out he realized how it sounded. And now there it is, sitting there.]
You'll never let me live that down, will you.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 05:18 am (UTC)[He trails off after a bit and wipes a tear from his eye.]
Do you even have to ask? [This is one of those things that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. The time that Gepard Landau talked about being pleased by Sampo Koski, out loud. Sent that right out into the universe.] Ahah, that was a good one. Don’t worry, Gepard, I’ll gladly go out of my way to please you.
[Again— in more ways than dear Geppie expects. But that’s either for him to find out later, after Sampo has weaseled his way further into his life, or not, if he hasn’t. Gepard’s could always rebuff him, send him packing. Leave him to his lonely rooftop stalking.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 03:23 am (UTC)So there's really only one way of dealing with- technically two, but retreat is not an option.]
Then I look forward to the new and exciting ways you'll try to pleasure me with. [Gepard says it incredibly deadpan, just- go on. Out with it. Make the jokes. He won't run from them.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-22 11:32 pm (UTC)Oh, do you have exciting tastes? I didn’t know you were that kind of man! You’re so full of surprises.
[Is Gepard really exciting in that way? Who knows, though Sampo would guess that he probably isn’t. He’s such a stalwart and steady man, he probably likes it missionary in the marital bed, like Qlipoth intended. But he’s also a military man, good at taking orders, so there’s always the possibility that he could be trained…]
[Well! Fantasies for another day. Sampo can be a sadsack about attractive men that he’s never seen naked in the privacy of his own bedroom.]
I really will have to import some exotic things to impress you, then. There are things on Penacony that would blow your mind, I’m sure of it!
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 02:32 am (UTC)In a different lifetime, under slightly different circumstances, this would be the prelude to an arrest attempt and in a few minutes, Sampo would end up being chased. But they don't live that life. Gepard Landau quit his job.
And if the Aeons chose this moment to bless Gepard with a limited form of telepathy, let him see all of Sampo's thoughts, he'd say his dick is small, his tastes are boring, and the rest of him is boring, why. And then he'd have fantasies for the next month.
But, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss, and Gepard instead says,]
Of course you've been to Penacony. [Even sad single dads from the middle of nowhere know about Penacony. Of course Sampo has. Of course Sampo somehow found his way there.] You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-04 04:30 am (UTC)[But Gepard's ignorance is also his bliss, and they talk about Penacony instead of penises.]
I have! It's a fun place, you should visit sometime. [Who doesn't love Penacony? A world of dreams, full of wonder. And with plenty of entertainment for both adults and kids.] You have a lot more free time now, don't you? Maybe you should think about taking a trip.
[Just think about it, Geppie. Let that rattle around the old brain for a while, ruminate on it a bit. A fun little trip off of Belobog, for you and your little girl.]
I know all the best places!