Gepard doesn't know what he believes. He doesn't know if he thinks Sampo is being honest or not - he's right, the years have a way of changing people, once he would have considered himself stubborn, and now Gepard just feels tired. He's tired. It's like...besides his daughter, his sisters, there's nothing left for him. Just routine, day after day, him loving his daughter - Lily - too much to leave, loving Belobog too much to leave, but also not being able to find-
He's just tired and-
Whether Sampo is being honest or not is a mystery for someone else to resolve. Not him. For him, all that's left is a quiet-]
You're right.
[Because Sampo is right about one thing.]
I apologize for jumping to conclusions. [Then:] I barely even know you at all.
[Is it a mystery for someone else, Gepard? Or is it a mystery that you'll be solving anyway, whether you like it or not?]
[What's in front of Sampo right now is the mystery of why Gepard Landau has turned into a sadsack. The Captain that Sampo knew never had looked so... ground down, even after months of fighting hard at the frontlines. There had always been something unyielding in him, something unshakeable. And, sure, Sampo did just say that years could change a man, but it feels like it would take more than just time to wear down Gepard's iron will.]
[What had happened, in the years that he'd been gone? Sampo couldn't go back and undo all those years-- nor would he want to, really, he'd had important things to do and he wouldn't change that-- but context might at least provide some understanding of how they got here. How Gepard went from a paragon of the Preservation to... this.]
[More reconnaissance is in order, then. At least Sampo will be able to keep himself busy.]
Apology accepted! I think it's the first one you've ever given me. [Gepard wasn't exactly the apologizing type. Probably still isn't, this is just a special case.] And, well, we can change that last thing, can't we?
[Gepard barely knows him, but that's not immutable. They can make progress on that, go from former antagonists to compatriots. The good ol' enemies to friends (to lovers?) trope, that's a real crowd-pleaser.]
[It's the first he gave Sampo, probably, and Gepard wants to squirm. He doesn't. He doesn't like the fact he apologized to Sampo. Because it's Sampo. He also doesn't like the fact it feels like Sampo is seeing through his excuses, his mistakes, or is trying to. And he still doesn't know why?]
I...
[He should politely rebuff Sampo.]
...suppose? [That also seems mean.] You've told me stories. I've enjoyed them. I've mostly enjoyed our time together. [Okay, he's got a little bit of stubbornness in him. A little bit left. He enjoys Sampo's company only so much. This far, no further.] I don't have a reason to say no.
[And Gepard busies himself with a sandwich to stall for time to bite, and chew, and swallow, and think, what's a safe, easy conversation topic that he could direct Sampo to, like the sort of thing he used back when he was a Silvermane Guard and was looking for something polite to tell a civilian who was getting a little too familiar - something to keep a distance, but polite, and nice.]
You said you were getting a permit. What kind of business were you thinking of running, Sampo?
[It's nice to have the verbal confirmation that Gepard has been enjoying Sampo's little stories, even though it had been pretty obvious by his face. It's a little addicting, having a handsome man like Gepard staring at him with rapt attention-- a guy could get used to it!]
[He could poke more, try to prod Gepard into more little admissions about how much he liked spending time with his old pal Sampo, but he changes the subject. Probably doesn't want to linger on anything that might embarrass him, because Gepard is wonderfully easy to embarrass. Sampo could make an entire afternoon of it, of just finding all the ways that he could tease Gepard into blushing like a rose.]
I did say that! Well, I'm going to stick to what I know and go into the import and export business. There are a lot of people out in the galaxy who want to get into a fresh market like Belobog, and I'm just the man to make it happen. [He knows a lot of people, knows how to do business in the galaxy. The merchants on Belobog have a lot of catching up to do before they're comfortable with the way the rest of the universe does business.] Luxury goods are an obvious place to start, it looks like Belobog is starting to get a taste for them.
[After being isolated for seven hundred years and stuck in a state of constant survival, people were bound to be interested in the bounty of the universe. So many years of deprivation, and now everything is at their fingertips. Though... there are other things that he could mention to dear Gepard about his upcoming business. In the game of getting Gepard to like him, what tidbits of information that he divulges are very important and should be chosen carefully.]
I'll need a portion of my business to be very profitable, to prop up the parts that aren't!
You've... [What's a good word for it.] ...really thought this through.
[So much it actually sounds...well. Real. Doesn't it? That Sampo had thought it through to this extent, and, sure, Sampo's probably not telling him everything. And, sure, it's probably a ruse hiding something else. But it also sounds honest enough and Gepard has to, for a moment, consider what it means that Sampo is being this (seemingly) sincere about his new business and why he might be pestering him, and then decides to not consider those questions. A little bit at a time.
He's running out of sandwich, and Gepard doesn't know how he feels about that, because he should be glad to send his nuisance on his way. In theory.]
[Even when you're living an adventurous life, it's not all action and daring-do. There are some pretty long periods of down-time that can get kind of boring, and you've got to do something to keep yourself entertained. Sending out Nigerian prince scams to unsuspecting rich folks can only keep his attention for so long, after all-- sometimes you have to give your brain a challenge by planning how you'd open a business on a previously isolated planet to turn a nice profit and seduce handsome blond men.]
[It had sounded like a good idea at the time, especially the seducing blond men part. Sure, he had entertained the sort of wistful hope that said blond men could consist of a certain guard captain, but was realistically expecting to have to settle for a revolving door of Other Blonds. (Realistically speaking, he may still have to settle for Other Blonds-- even if Gepard's single, Sampo's only evidence towards his romantic proclivities is one failed relationship with a woman. While he could try his luck as Brughel Poisson, that would only last until Gepard saw what's under the skirts.)]
If I tell you, will you put in a bad word for me? Like you did with your sister! [Got him kicked out of the band, so rude. Just because he did a few scams doesn't mean that he was a bad band member!]
Word of mouth is one of the best forms of advertising, after all! If I have someone as respectable as you saying bad things about my business, I'll be dead in the water.
[Sampo says he thought about it, for years, and Gepard inhales, a little sharp. Clearly it's just the crusty bread he was eating or something that caused it, and it's nothing that Sampo should look too much into.
Fortunately, the moment passes. Sampo turns the subject to his sister and Gepard snorts, amused despite himself. (It's really hard to remember to be sad or guarded when Sampo's being like this. It would be annoying if he thought too hard about it.) And Sampo calls him respectable and Gepard wants to point out that he's not that noteworthy, not anymore.
He doesn't.]
I'll just say nothing about it at all and you can succeed or fail on your own merits. If you're doing things honestly, then I have no reason to care, Sampo.
Can't you at least pretend that you'll be happy if I succeed? I'll be a rehabilitated man! A pillar of the community!
[And maybe certain handsome former guard captains would like to take rehabilitated pillars of the community to be happy for him in the adult way? That's really probably the best that he could hope for-- but what's life without a little ambition? A few hopeless dreams? Maybe he'll get a dreambubble the next time he's in Penacony and be sad and pathetic to his little metaphorical heart's content.]
Ah, I see how it is. I'll have to bribe you for it, won't I? You're not Captain anymore, you can take bribes.
[Gepard had been too honorable a man to take bribes when he was in the guard-- there were other men that weren't quite so upright as him that Sampo had gotten his hooks into once upon a time, for the right price or, once, the right act. (He'd actually been quite glad when that man had gotten kicked out for unrelated reasons. Like, sure, Sampo had done it, but that guy's the one who asked. Have a little class, man.) But now, Gepard could get bribed and it's not even really a bribe, it's just getting gifts.]
How many lemons would it take? Oranges? There's a lot of citrus in the galaxy! Maybe some grapefruit? Oh, something a little more rare, I could probably get some yuzu or pomelo.
[How much fruit does it take to buy out Gepard Landau?]
[He makes a noise at succeed. Neither positive nor neutral, just a noise acknowledging that he heard what Sampo said. As Sampo describes himself as a pillar of the community, Gepard can't resist cutting in with an exasperated,]
Sampo, please-
[But Sampo talks, as absurd as always. Bribes. He's just a guy, he's hardly anyone that Sampo would need to bribe, but Sampo brings up grapefruit and oranges, and he has Gepard's attention, it's obvious that he has his attention, and he can't help what slips out.]
What's a yuzu?
[If Sampo whipped out a yuzu right then and there he'd probably scoot in, that's how curious he is. It sounds...interesting?]
[Wow, so maybe the way to Gepard's heart really is through vitamin C. The man is clearly interested in the prospect of getting his hands on more citrus fruits, and like. That's not how Sampo expected this conversation to go, but he's not going to look a gift crystal lizard in the gizzard.]
It's a fruit, kind of looks like a small orange? Tastes like if you crossed a grapefruit and a mandarin.
[Sampo can't just pull one out of his pocket-- he keeps a lot of things in there, but not an entire fruit stand-- but he can pull a picture up on his phone to show Gepard. See, there you go, it's a real thing. Sampo isn't just making up words.]
I'll get some for you! It'll be my first import, once I get everything up and running.
[He does lean in as he's shown a yuzu. He does make an appreciative, curious noise, an-]
Oh.
[Because that's sure a picture of a fruit on a phone.]
It sounded like the sort of thing you'd make up. [Well- and Gepard leans back again.] Sorry. But, well, it does. A yuzu, a pomelo, I only believe in a grapefruit because I've had one once. [And only once. Very tart.]
My- [Can he trust Sampo with this?
...apparently so. He can give this much to him, in an apology, and the slightest of olive branches.] My daughter likes fruit, you see. I'm always interested in letting her try something new.
I see! [The real way to Gepard Landau's heart, or maybe just his pants, then, isn't really fruit bribes nor other standard seduction practices-- it's via his adored daughter. An unusual tactic, to be sure, but Sampo's never shied away from new methods. Adapt, improvise, overcome! If he can get little Miss Lily to like him, than Gepard won't be far behind.] I'll have to get more than just citrus, then! Mango, maybe? Pineapple?
[What fruits do little girls like? A question that Sampo would've never thought that he'd have to answer.]
Does she prefer something sweet? [He grins, leaning forward a little towards Gepard. Bastard behavior.] Or maybe her daddy does?
[Ever wanted to hear Sampo call you daddy, Gepard? Probably not, but that's just how it is in this bitch of a galaxy.]
[Sampo suggests mangos. He mentions a pineapple. And Gepard is about to say something helpful, useful, and then - Sampo leans in. He sees that shit eating grin. He can practically smell the bastard behavior, taste it, see it coming.]
Sampo-
[But he can't stop it, and as Sampo calls him daddy, well. He can't say he likes it, but it puts a blush on his face, a certain heat on the back of his neck, and gives him ideas he can't quite squash.]
If you're going to call me names, I'd rather you stuck with Geppie over calling me that.
[A concession, or a white flag of surrender, it's tough to tell.]
[Lost that game, Gepard. You're Geppie now, it's the nickname from hell that will never leave you. Blame your sister, maybe, or your parents for naming you something that could be shortened into something cute.]
[And Sampo enjoys teasing him too, of course. It's nice, talking with Gepard always makes him feel things.]
You didn't answer the question, though! I'm sure little Miss Lily loves having a sweet treat, but you're trying them, too. I should get things that you'll both enjoy. [A grin, a little Cheshire-cat tilt of his head.] I'm a people-pleaser like that.
[It's taking a lot to keep from outright retreating, and, worse, while he doesn't know how he feels about Sampo calling him daddy (besides definitely feeling something), Gepard has to confront the fact he actually kind of enjoys Sampo calling him Geppie. Things he never wanted to learn about himself.]
You really don't need to go out of your way to please me. [And then he immediately fucking makes a face, like someone had taken an exceptionally sour lemon and shoved it right in his mouth, because he hadn't meant to say it like that but it came out like that, and the second it came out he realized how it sounded. And now there it is, sitting there.]
[As always, Gepard is a gift. He makes that little slip of the tongue— oh, if only Gepard knew how he’d like to please him— and Sampo cackles, laughing like it’s the first good joke that he’s heard in a long time.]
[He trails off after a bit and wipes a tear from his eye.]
Do you even have to ask? [This is one of those things that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. The time that Gepard Landau talked about being pleased by Sampo Koski, out loud. Sent that right out into the universe.] Ahah, that was a good one. Don’t worry, Gepard, I’ll gladly go out of my way to please you.
[Again— in more ways than dear Geppie expects. But that’s either for him to find out later, after Sampo has weaseled his way further into his life, or not, if he hasn’t. Gepard’s could always rebuff him, send him packing. Leave him to his lonely rooftop stalking.]
[There's no words for how badly he wants to assault Sampo right about now, but even if he retired he's still a Silvermane Captain in certain respects, and too well bred to throw a mug at Sampo's face for saying that.
So there's really only one way of dealing with- technically two, but retreat is not an option.]
Then I look forward to the new and exciting ways you'll try to pleasure me with. [Gepard says it incredibly deadpan, just- go on. Out with it. Make the jokes. He won't run from them.]
[Where retreat is not an option, Gepard does as any good soldier would— marches bravely forward. Even if it’s into a trap.]
Oh, do you have exciting tastes? I didn’t know you were that kind of man! You’re so full of surprises.
[Is Gepard really exciting in that way? Who knows, though Sampo would guess that he probably isn’t. He’s such a stalwart and steady man, he probably likes it missionary in the marital bed, like Qlipoth intended. But he’s also a military man, good at taking orders, so there’s always the possibility that he could be trained…]
[Well! Fantasies for another day. Sampo can be a sadsack about attractive men that he’s never seen naked in the privacy of his own bedroom.]
I really will have to import some exotic things to impress you, then. There are things on Penacony that would blow your mind, I’m sure of it!
[Sampo calls his tastes exciting in that mocking way of his - in which they both knew that he was full of shit. Gepard makes a face at him.
In a different lifetime, under slightly different circumstances, this would be the prelude to an arrest attempt and in a few minutes, Sampo would end up being chased. But they don't live that life. Gepard Landau quit his job.
And if the Aeons chose this moment to bless Gepard with a limited form of telepathy, let him see all of Sampo's thoughts, he'd say his dick is small, his tastes are boring, and the rest of him is boring, why. And then he'd have fantasies for the next month.
But, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss, and Gepard instead says,]
Of course you've been to Penacony. [Even sad single dads from the middle of nowhere know about Penacony. Of course Sampo has. Of course Sampo somehow found his way there.] You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
[If Gepard had tried to tell him that his dick was small, Sampo wouldn't have believed him. He knows in his heart of hearts that Gepard is hung, or at least he hopes that he is. But, really, even in the unlikely event that he hadn't been blessed with an Earthwork in his pants, Sampo wouldn't have cared that much. Big penis, small penis, average sized penis-- he can work with all kinds! And last he checked, Gepard has two perfectly working hands and a mouth, so, really, if you can't make do with that, you just lack imagination.]
[But Gepard's ignorance is also his bliss, and they talk about Penacony instead of penises.]
I have! It's a fun place, you should visit sometime. [Who doesn't love Penacony? A world of dreams, full of wonder. And with plenty of entertainment for both adults and kids.] You have a lot more free time now, don't you? Maybe you should think about taking a trip.
[Just think about it, Geppie. Let that rattle around the old brain for a while, ruminate on it a bit. A fun little trip off of Belobog, for you and your little girl.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Gepard doesn't know what he believes. He doesn't know if he thinks Sampo is being honest or not - he's right, the years have a way of changing people, once he would have considered himself stubborn, and now Gepard just feels tired. He's tired. It's like...besides his daughter, his sisters, there's nothing left for him. Just routine, day after day, him loving his daughter - Lily - too much to leave, loving Belobog too much to leave, but also not being able to find-
He's just tired and-
Whether Sampo is being honest or not is a mystery for someone else to resolve. Not him. For him, all that's left is a quiet-]
You're right.
[Because Sampo is right about one thing.]
I apologize for jumping to conclusions. [Then:] I barely even know you at all.
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[What's in front of Sampo right now is the mystery of why Gepard Landau has turned into a sadsack. The Captain that Sampo knew never had looked so... ground down, even after months of fighting hard at the frontlines. There had always been something unyielding in him, something unshakeable. And, sure, Sampo did just say that years could change a man, but it feels like it would take more than just time to wear down Gepard's iron will.]
[What had happened, in the years that he'd been gone? Sampo couldn't go back and undo all those years-- nor would he want to, really, he'd had important things to do and he wouldn't change that-- but context might at least provide some understanding of how they got here. How Gepard went from a paragon of the Preservation to... this.]
[More reconnaissance is in order, then. At least Sampo will be able to keep himself busy.]
Apology accepted! I think it's the first one you've ever given me. [Gepard wasn't exactly the apologizing type. Probably still isn't, this is just a special case.] And, well, we can change that last thing, can't we?
[Gepard barely knows him, but that's not immutable. They can make progress on that, go from former antagonists to compatriots. The good ol' enemies to friends (to lovers?) trope, that's a real crowd-pleaser.]
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I...
[He should politely rebuff Sampo.]
...suppose? [That also seems mean.] You've told me stories. I've enjoyed them. I've mostly enjoyed our time together. [Okay, he's got a little bit of stubbornness in him. A little bit left. He enjoys Sampo's company only so much. This far, no further.] I don't have a reason to say no.
[And Gepard busies himself with a sandwich to stall for time to bite, and chew, and swallow, and think, what's a safe, easy conversation topic that he could direct Sampo to, like the sort of thing he used back when he was a Silvermane Guard and was looking for something polite to tell a civilian who was getting a little too familiar - something to keep a distance, but polite, and nice.]
You said you were getting a permit. What kind of business were you thinking of running, Sampo?
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[He could poke more, try to prod Gepard into more little admissions about how much he liked spending time with his old pal Sampo, but he changes the subject. Probably doesn't want to linger on anything that might embarrass him, because Gepard is wonderfully easy to embarrass. Sampo could make an entire afternoon of it, of just finding all the ways that he could tease Gepard into blushing like a rose.]
I did say that! Well, I'm going to stick to what I know and go into the import and export business. There are a lot of people out in the galaxy who want to get into a fresh market like Belobog, and I'm just the man to make it happen. [He knows a lot of people, knows how to do business in the galaxy. The merchants on Belobog have a lot of catching up to do before they're comfortable with the way the rest of the universe does business.] Luxury goods are an obvious place to start, it looks like Belobog is starting to get a taste for them.
[After being isolated for seven hundred years and stuck in a state of constant survival, people were bound to be interested in the bounty of the universe. So many years of deprivation, and now everything is at their fingertips. Though... there are other things that he could mention to dear Gepard about his upcoming business. In the game of getting Gepard to like him, what tidbits of information that he divulges are very important and should be chosen carefully.]
I'll need a portion of my business to be very profitable, to prop up the parts that aren't!
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[So much it actually sounds...well. Real. Doesn't it? That Sampo had thought it through to this extent, and, sure, Sampo's probably not telling him everything. And, sure, it's probably a ruse hiding something else. But it also sounds honest enough and Gepard has to, for a moment, consider what it means that Sampo is being this (seemingly) sincere about his new business and why he might be pestering him, and then decides to not consider those questions. A little bit at a time.
He's running out of sandwich, and Gepard doesn't know how he feels about that, because he should be glad to send his nuisance on his way. In theory.]
Does your business have a name?
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[Even when you're living an adventurous life, it's not all action and daring-do. There are some pretty long periods of down-time that can get kind of boring, and you've got to do something to keep yourself entertained. Sending out Nigerian prince scams to unsuspecting rich folks can only keep his attention for so long, after all-- sometimes you have to give your brain a challenge by planning how you'd open a business on a previously isolated planet to turn a nice profit and seduce handsome blond men.]
[It had sounded like a good idea at the time, especially the seducing blond men part. Sure, he had entertained the sort of wistful hope that said blond men could consist of a certain guard captain, but was realistically expecting to have to settle for a revolving door of Other Blonds. (Realistically speaking, he may still have to settle for Other Blonds-- even if Gepard's single, Sampo's only evidence towards his romantic proclivities is one failed relationship with a woman. While he could try his luck as Brughel Poisson, that would only last until Gepard saw what's under the skirts.)]
If I tell you, will you put in a bad word for me? Like you did with your sister! [Got him kicked out of the band, so rude. Just because he did a few scams doesn't mean that he was a bad band member!]
Word of mouth is one of the best forms of advertising, after all! If I have someone as respectable as you saying bad things about my business, I'll be dead in the water.
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Fortunately, the moment passes. Sampo turns the subject to his sister and Gepard snorts, amused despite himself. (It's really hard to remember to be sad or guarded when Sampo's being like this. It would be annoying if he thought too hard about it.) And Sampo calls him respectable and Gepard wants to point out that he's not that noteworthy, not anymore.
He doesn't.]
I'll just say nothing about it at all and you can succeed or fail on your own merits. If you're doing things honestly, then I have no reason to care, Sampo.
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[And maybe certain handsome former guard captains would like to take rehabilitated pillars of the community to be happy for him in the adult way? That's really probably the best that he could hope for-- but what's life without a little ambition? A few hopeless dreams? Maybe he'll get a dreambubble the next time he's in Penacony and be sad and pathetic to his little metaphorical heart's content.]
Ah, I see how it is. I'll have to bribe you for it, won't I? You're not Captain anymore, you can take bribes.
[Gepard had been too honorable a man to take bribes when he was in the guard-- there were other men that weren't quite so upright as him that Sampo had gotten his hooks into once upon a time, for the right price or, once, the right act. (He'd actually been quite glad when that man had gotten kicked out for unrelated reasons. Like, sure, Sampo had done it, but that guy's the one who asked. Have a little class, man.) But now, Gepard could get bribed and it's not even really a bribe, it's just getting gifts.]
How many lemons would it take? Oranges? There's a lot of citrus in the galaxy! Maybe some grapefruit? Oh, something a little more rare, I could probably get some yuzu or pomelo.
[How much fruit does it take to buy out Gepard Landau?]
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Sampo, please-
[But Sampo talks, as absurd as always. Bribes. He's just a guy, he's hardly anyone that Sampo would need to bribe, but Sampo brings up grapefruit and oranges, and he has Gepard's attention, it's obvious that he has his attention, and he can't help what slips out.]
What's a yuzu?
[If Sampo whipped out a yuzu right then and there he'd probably scoot in, that's how curious he is. It sounds...interesting?]
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It's a fruit, kind of looks like a small orange? Tastes like if you crossed a grapefruit and a mandarin.
[Sampo can't just pull one out of his pocket-- he keeps a lot of things in there, but not an entire fruit stand-- but he can pull a picture up on his phone to show Gepard. See, there you go, it's a real thing. Sampo isn't just making up words.]
I'll get some for you! It'll be my first import, once I get everything up and running.
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Oh.
[Because that's sure a picture of a fruit on a phone.]
It sounded like the sort of thing you'd make up. [Well- and Gepard leans back again.] Sorry. But, well, it does. A yuzu, a pomelo, I only believe in a grapefruit because I've had one once. [And only once. Very tart.]
My- [Can he trust Sampo with this?
...apparently so. He can give this much to him, in an apology, and the slightest of olive branches.] My daughter likes fruit, you see. I'm always interested in letting her try something new.
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[What fruits do little girls like? A question that Sampo would've never thought that he'd have to answer.]
Does she prefer something sweet? [He grins, leaning forward a little towards Gepard. Bastard behavior.] Or maybe her daddy does?
[Ever wanted to hear Sampo call you daddy, Gepard? Probably not, but that's just how it is in this bitch of a galaxy.]
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Sampo-
[But he can't stop it, and as Sampo calls him daddy, well. He can't say he likes it, but it puts a blush on his face, a certain heat on the back of his neck, and gives him ideas he can't quite squash.]
If you're going to call me names, I'd rather you stuck with Geppie over calling me that.
[A concession, or a white flag of surrender, it's tough to tell.]
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[Lost that game, Gepard. You're Geppie now, it's the nickname from hell that will never leave you. Blame your sister, maybe, or your parents for naming you something that could be shortened into something cute.]
[And Sampo enjoys teasing him too, of course. It's nice, talking with Gepard always makes him feel things.]
You didn't answer the question, though! I'm sure little Miss Lily loves having a sweet treat, but you're trying them, too. I should get things that you'll both enjoy. [A grin, a little Cheshire-cat tilt of his head.] I'm a people-pleaser like that.
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You really don't need to go out of your way to please me. [And then he immediately fucking makes a face, like someone had taken an exceptionally sour lemon and shoved it right in his mouth, because he hadn't meant to say it like that but it came out like that, and the second it came out he realized how it sounded. And now there it is, sitting there.]
You'll never let me live that down, will you.
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[He trails off after a bit and wipes a tear from his eye.]
Do you even have to ask? [This is one of those things that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. The time that Gepard Landau talked about being pleased by Sampo Koski, out loud. Sent that right out into the universe.] Ahah, that was a good one. Don’t worry, Gepard, I’ll gladly go out of my way to please you.
[Again— in more ways than dear Geppie expects. But that’s either for him to find out later, after Sampo has weaseled his way further into his life, or not, if he hasn’t. Gepard’s could always rebuff him, send him packing. Leave him to his lonely rooftop stalking.]
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So there's really only one way of dealing with- technically two, but retreat is not an option.]
Then I look forward to the new and exciting ways you'll try to pleasure me with. [Gepard says it incredibly deadpan, just- go on. Out with it. Make the jokes. He won't run from them.]
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Oh, do you have exciting tastes? I didn’t know you were that kind of man! You’re so full of surprises.
[Is Gepard really exciting in that way? Who knows, though Sampo would guess that he probably isn’t. He’s such a stalwart and steady man, he probably likes it missionary in the marital bed, like Qlipoth intended. But he’s also a military man, good at taking orders, so there’s always the possibility that he could be trained…]
[Well! Fantasies for another day. Sampo can be a sadsack about attractive men that he’s never seen naked in the privacy of his own bedroom.]
I really will have to import some exotic things to impress you, then. There are things on Penacony that would blow your mind, I’m sure of it!
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In a different lifetime, under slightly different circumstances, this would be the prelude to an arrest attempt and in a few minutes, Sampo would end up being chased. But they don't live that life. Gepard Landau quit his job.
And if the Aeons chose this moment to bless Gepard with a limited form of telepathy, let him see all of Sampo's thoughts, he'd say his dick is small, his tastes are boring, and the rest of him is boring, why. And then he'd have fantasies for the next month.
But, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss, and Gepard instead says,]
Of course you've been to Penacony. [Even sad single dads from the middle of nowhere know about Penacony. Of course Sampo has. Of course Sampo somehow found his way there.] You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
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[But Gepard's ignorance is also his bliss, and they talk about Penacony instead of penises.]
I have! It's a fun place, you should visit sometime. [Who doesn't love Penacony? A world of dreams, full of wonder. And with plenty of entertainment for both adults and kids.] You have a lot more free time now, don't you? Maybe you should think about taking a trip.
[Just think about it, Geppie. Let that rattle around the old brain for a while, ruminate on it a bit. A fun little trip off of Belobog, for you and your little girl.]
I know all the best places!