[If Gepard weren't only interested in pretty Supreme Guardians-- or whatever kind of woman that guard captains aspired towards-- this might have been an opportune moment to angle for a kiss. Sure, Sampo usually didn't make a habit of getting that kind of friendly with his dinners, but Gepard's a bit of a special case in that regard, and he's handsome. Certainly wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, kissing his handsome blood donor. Considering what kind of man he is, Sampo's fairly certain that he'd be an absolutely lovely bed partner, very considerate and giving. Alas! Reserved for some lucky woman one day.]
[His fingers press against Sampo's scalp in soothing slow motions. Sampo could lay there all day, except that Gepard dares complain that he's heavy.]
Heavy! [He has a very trim figure, thank you very much. In protest, Sampo rolls more of his body weight onto Gepard, just flopping himself over onto him. He'll show you heavy.] Rude! Didn't anyone teach you not to comment on a girl's weight?
[Is he more or less not unpleasant when he's sprawled across your chest, Gepard?]
[Oof but then Figaro calls him rude and that startles a laugh out of Gepard, a little choked thing that he tries to muffle, but, no, he can't, he just has a little happy giggle.
What's also happy, but in a less good way, is Gepard's erection which shows no signs of going away because he's got a heterosexual sexy vampire sprawled across his chest, now. If anything, it's going in the opposite direction? It was hard, and now it feels a bit harder. And he should say, "Hey, Figaro, my erection is getting very distracting thanks to you, maybe we should call it a day so I can beat it out on my own."
But also, Gepard's got a sexy heterosexual vampire sprawled across his chest, and this doesn't happen so often? Is it really that bad to gaze at him and imagine a...let's just end this at a kiss. A kiss. Is it so bad to gaze at Figaro and imagine kissing him? Probably. But he's doing it anyway. Gazing at him. Imagining a kiss. Letting his fingers move from rubbing Figaro's scalp to rubbing the base of his neck.]
Heavy's heavy, Figaro. [Even if he's hugging Figaro. Even if he's got an erection he needs to do a bit more to ignore. It'll go away soon.]
[If Gepard really wanted to rid himself of the weight of a sexy vampire, he probably shouldn't have started rubbing his neck like that. Scalp scritches are a universally nice feeling, and so are neck rubs, so he's not actually doing anything to deter Sampo's behavior-- he's just rewarding it. Reinforcing the bad behavior. When this happens again, he has no one to blame but himself.]
[In further protest of being told that he's heavy, Sampo gets his arms around Gepard's waist to anchor himself in place. Just try to get rid of him now, golden boy, he's your problem.]
Endure it, then. You're a strong man. [He could probably sleep like this-- full, cuddled up with a warm man, having his neck rubbed. What a luxury.] Ah, and don't stop doing that... you have strong hands, too.
[His fingers don't stop. They keep on doing what it is they're doing, even though they shouldn't. Gepard likes the entire waist thing. It makes him shiver, a little, as he feels the grip around him. It's...nice. warm. Makes him feel needed, and not just professionally, not because he's a soldier.]
So I'm not only dinner, I'm your neck-rubber- your masseuse and pillow. I see where this is going, Figaro.
You’re a very good masseuse and pillow. I’d give you a stellar review!
[A+, excellent body pillow, would cuddle again. Would maybe spoon, if the opportunity arose, or even fork.]
[He closes his eyes. Gepard’s fingers haven’t stopped yet, and it’s really hard to resist the urge to just fall asleep on him. He’s warm and full and getting a totally platonic neck rub from a handsome man, who wouldn’t feel like taking a little nap in that situation?]
Are you trying to— [He interrupts himself with a yawn.] —put me to sleep? Because it’s working.
[And then his fingers...stop, they stop, just resting there, because Figaro raised a good point- kind of, that as much as he likes this, he also maybe shouldn't...indulge because...
Because of some reason or another. Because. Because it's a bad idea. Because it'll lead to more useless pining.]
[The pining would be less useless if he ever stopped being quiet about it, but Gepard wouldn't be Gepard if he didn't quietly torture himself with something that he desires but refuses to allow himself to have.]
[His fingers stop combing through Sampo's thick hair, and he makes a displeased little noise about it but otherwise doesn't move. He's really enjoying that scalp massage, it seems like a shame to stop it just because the good Captain hasn't figured out that he needs to take a few steps out of the closet yet.]
Do you want me out of your hair? [He tips his head a little to get a better look up at Gepard. From this angle, he's only marginally less handsome because no one looks good when you can see up their nostrils.] I'd have to come back soon to make lunch for you, anyway. So it's not really any easier for me to leave and come back.
[Besides, he has ideas for that leftover tenderloin from last night. Some crunchy bread, a few greens, some horseradish and an au jus to dip it in... he'll make a sandwich so good that Gepard'll be glad to give him neck rubs.]
[No, no, they're two men, zero feet apart because they're not gay. Anyway, Figaro asks if he wants him out of his hair, and Gepard shakes his head.]
No, I like having you here.
[It's embarrassing, but it's true, and as Gepard says that he nudges Figaro - asking without asking for him to move up, it'll be easier to rub his spine if he's a little ways up. Plus, any boners will be less awkward that way, probably.]
It's been... [Fuck it. He can admit it.] It's been fun. Which is strange given how all of this started and the fact I don't even know your name, and that's not even getting into how you eat people, but- nobody's perfect, I suppose.
[Sampo goes along with that nudge, because it's really in his best interest to do as the good Captain wants. Neck rubs and back rubs, he should bite handsome Captains more often if it'll get him this kind of treatment. Or maybe it's just this one Captain, and Sampo really hit the jackpot that night.]
[So he scoots up and yawns into Gepard's shoulder, muffling himself with it. It's a nice shoulder.]
Don't ruin the fun, I'm sure you can figure out my name if you try. Maybe I'll give you a hint, if you ask me nice enough. [Maybe. Who knows! Gepard's not the dullest knife in the drawer, and he's got some very sharp people working with him. Surely he can do it himself.] And I don't eat people, I drink blood. There's a difference! It's an important one.
[Cannibalism and vampirism aren't the same thing, thank you very much. One is much messier and more rude than the other.]
[Oh, but Figaro's obliging, which is good, makes it easier to use him as a giant blanket and/or body pillow for cuddling- which Gepard does. He sighs, getting comfortable, just fucking making himself at home- it is his home. But he's settling in.
Gepard's a man of routine and he can feel new patterns being etched onto his bones. He really should be more worried about this- less the cuddling of some nameless man with a fixation on the letter O, and more the fact that he decided that he really wants to snuggle with him after letting him drink his blood.
One hand is at the nape of Figaro's neck. The other, trying to rub his back.]
You drink blood. Blood comes from people, so I suppose you're technically right.
[Clothes are in the way, and without thinking about it, Gepard slides a hand under what little Figaro has in the way of a shirt (he's not really a shirt guy, really) to rub patterns in his skin. It's like gentling a cat. He's got the world's worst bloodthirsty cat atop him. It doesn't matter.]
You drink people, not eat them, but is that really that different? [This is what he's focusing on.]
[Is any of this supposed to deter Sampo from a good bite and cuddle? Gepard basically wants him as his own personal body pillow, and Sampo’s gone long enough without positive human contact that he’ll gladly be Gepard’s weighted blanket. The good Captain is warm and comfortable and his hands are lovely at his nape and back.]
[It’s really a shame. What a waste of a perfectly good man, Sampo would gladly give him some special services if he was only so inclined. But Gepard would have no interest in that kind of thing from him, so there’s no use in even offering.]
[And instead of focusing on touching him, Gepard is fixated on the people eating thing.]
It is! Eating somebody makes it sound like I’m tearing chunks off or something. What I’m doing is barely worse than a blood donation.
[He tips his head a little to give the good Captain some serious side-eye.]
Hey. Just let me take the win where I can get it, okay?
[He’s an obligate bloodsucker and it’s objectively awful, at least let him have his little semantic arguments.]
[Figaro's turning his head- Gepard grunts because that makes him less comfortable, what is this, what's going on, two heterosexual men zero feet apart because they're not gay, and one of them is wiggling a bit.
And now Gepard's moving to give Figaro a little bit of side-eye.]
I liked you better when you didn't move as much, Figaro.
[And here Gepard is, rubbing little circles onto Figaro's back. It'll be a bit of a shame to lose his weighted blanket, and Gepard makes a face at the thought - it's nice having someone to cuddle, even if that someone happens to have weird dietary requirements and is an amazing cook.
Maybe this is a sign he needs to get a pet? Like a dog, if Belobog was a normal planet that had room for pets. But they probably have something.]
I've really enjoyed all of your food. I have no doubt I'll love whatever it is you come up with next, Figaro.
It's kind of nice to have a reason to cook again. And you've been easy to please.
[Simple but hearty fare seems to satisfy Gepard-- roast meat and potatoes for dinner, eggs and crusty bread, fried sandwiches. It almost feels like cheating when it's this easy. But, well, he shouldn't say that, because he's not trying to win Gepard's heart over through his stomach or anything. But maybe lovely Miss Bronya will be able to do that, or whatever other pretty lady catches Gepard's eye.]
[For now, Sampo will just take advantage of the appreciation and back rubs and the occasional free people-flavored juice box. Especially the back rub, boy. Isn't Gepard being all nice and accommodating today!]
I should make bread for you sometime. I got bored once and spent like a month figuring out how to make a good sourdough, it'd be a shame to let all that work go to waste just because I can't have carbs.
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[His fingers press against Sampo's scalp in soothing slow motions. Sampo could lay there all day, except that Gepard dares complain that he's heavy.]
Heavy! [He has a very trim figure, thank you very much. In protest, Sampo rolls more of his body weight onto Gepard, just flopping himself over onto him. He'll show you heavy.] Rude! Didn't anyone teach you not to comment on a girl's weight?
[Is he more or less not unpleasant when he's sprawled across your chest, Gepard?]
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What's also happy, but in a less good way, is Gepard's erection which shows no signs of going away because he's got a heterosexual sexy vampire sprawled across his chest, now. If anything, it's going in the opposite direction? It was hard, and now it feels a bit harder. And he should say, "Hey, Figaro, my erection is getting very distracting thanks to you, maybe we should call it a day so I can beat it out on my own."
But also, Gepard's got a sexy heterosexual vampire sprawled across his chest, and this doesn't happen so often? Is it really that bad to gaze at him and imagine a...let's just end this at a kiss. A kiss. Is it so bad to gaze at Figaro and imagine kissing him? Probably. But he's doing it anyway. Gazing at him. Imagining a kiss. Letting his fingers move from rubbing Figaro's scalp to rubbing the base of his neck.]
Heavy's heavy, Figaro. [Even if he's hugging Figaro. Even if he's got an erection he needs to do a bit more to ignore. It'll go away soon.]
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[In further protest of being told that he's heavy, Sampo gets his arms around Gepard's waist to anchor himself in place. Just try to get rid of him now, golden boy, he's your problem.]
Endure it, then. You're a strong man. [He could probably sleep like this-- full, cuddled up with a warm man, having his neck rubbed. What a luxury.] Ah, and don't stop doing that... you have strong hands, too.
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So I'm not only dinner, I'm your neck-rubber- your masseuse and pillow. I see where this is going, Figaro.
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[A+, excellent body pillow, would cuddle again. Would maybe spoon, if the opportunity arose, or even fork.]
[He closes his eyes. Gepard’s fingers haven’t stopped yet, and it’s really hard to resist the urge to just fall asleep on him. He’s warm and full and getting a totally platonic neck rub from a handsome man, who wouldn’t feel like taking a little nap in that situation?]
Are you trying to— [He interrupts himself with a yawn.] —put me to sleep? Because it’s working.
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Because of some reason or another. Because. Because it's a bad idea. Because it'll lead to more useless pining.]
Should I be sending you on your way?
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[His fingers stop combing through Sampo's thick hair, and he makes a displeased little noise about it but otherwise doesn't move. He's really enjoying that scalp massage, it seems like a shame to stop it just because the good Captain hasn't figured out that he needs to take a few steps out of the closet yet.]
Do you want me out of your hair? [He tips his head a little to get a better look up at Gepard. From this angle, he's only marginally less handsome because no one looks good when you can see up their nostrils.] I'd have to come back soon to make lunch for you, anyway. So it's not really any easier for me to leave and come back.
[Besides, he has ideas for that leftover tenderloin from last night. Some crunchy bread, a few greens, some horseradish and an au jus to dip it in... he'll make a sandwich so good that Gepard'll be glad to give him neck rubs.]
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No, I like having you here.
[It's embarrassing, but it's true, and as Gepard says that he nudges Figaro - asking without asking for him to move up, it'll be easier to rub his spine if he's a little ways up. Plus, any boners will be less awkward that way, probably.]
It's been... [Fuck it. He can admit it.] It's been fun. Which is strange given how all of this started and the fact I don't even know your name, and that's not even getting into how you eat people, but- nobody's perfect, I suppose.
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[So he scoots up and yawns into Gepard's shoulder, muffling himself with it. It's a nice shoulder.]
Don't ruin the fun, I'm sure you can figure out my name if you try. Maybe I'll give you a hint, if you ask me nice enough. [Maybe. Who knows! Gepard's not the dullest knife in the drawer, and he's got some very sharp people working with him. Surely he can do it himself.] And I don't eat people, I drink blood. There's a difference! It's an important one.
[Cannibalism and vampirism aren't the same thing, thank you very much. One is much messier and more rude than the other.]
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[Oh, but Figaro's obliging, which is good, makes it easier to use him as a giant blanket and/or body pillow for cuddling- which Gepard does. He sighs, getting comfortable, just fucking making himself at home- it is his home. But he's settling in.
Gepard's a man of routine and he can feel new patterns being etched onto his bones. He really should be more worried about this- less the cuddling of some nameless man with a fixation on the letter O, and more the fact that he decided that he really wants to snuggle with him after letting him drink his blood.
One hand is at the nape of Figaro's neck. The other, trying to rub his back.]
You drink blood. Blood comes from people, so I suppose you're technically right.
[Clothes are in the way, and without thinking about it, Gepard slides a hand under what little Figaro has in the way of a shirt (he's not really a shirt guy, really) to rub patterns in his skin. It's like gentling a cat. He's got the world's worst bloodthirsty cat atop him. It doesn't matter.]
You drink people, not eat them, but is that really that different? [This is what he's focusing on.]
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[It’s really a shame. What a waste of a perfectly good man, Sampo would gladly give him some special services if he was only so inclined. But Gepard would have no interest in that kind of thing from him, so there’s no use in even offering.]
[And instead of focusing on touching him, Gepard is fixated on the people eating thing.]
It is! Eating somebody makes it sound like I’m tearing chunks off or something. What I’m doing is barely worse than a blood donation.
[He tips his head a little to give the good Captain some serious side-eye.]
Hey. Just let me take the win where I can get it, okay?
[He’s an obligate bloodsucker and it’s objectively awful, at least let him have his little semantic arguments.]
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And now Gepard's moving to give Figaro a little bit of side-eye.]
I liked you better when you didn't move as much, Figaro.
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[A little bro massage, as bros do. There’s nothing weird about rubbing another man’s back in a totally platonic and heterosexual way.]
Just a few more minutes, before I make lunch? It’s going to be a really good lunch, you’ll want to thank me for it.
[He’s going to make a sandwich so good that Gepard continues to question his sexuality.]
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[And here Gepard is, rubbing little circles onto Figaro's back. It'll be a bit of a shame to lose his weighted blanket, and Gepard makes a face at the thought - it's nice having someone to cuddle, even if that someone happens to have weird dietary requirements and is an amazing cook.
Maybe this is a sign he needs to get a pet? Like a dog, if Belobog was a normal planet that had room for pets. But they probably have something.]
I've really enjoyed all of your food. I have no doubt I'll love whatever it is you come up with next, Figaro.
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[Simple but hearty fare seems to satisfy Gepard-- roast meat and potatoes for dinner, eggs and crusty bread, fried sandwiches. It almost feels like cheating when it's this easy. But, well, he shouldn't say that, because he's not trying to win Gepard's heart over through his stomach or anything. But maybe lovely Miss Bronya will be able to do that, or whatever other pretty lady catches Gepard's eye.]
[For now, Sampo will just take advantage of the appreciation and back rubs and the occasional free people-flavored juice box. Especially the back rub, boy. Isn't Gepard being all nice and accommodating today!]
I should make bread for you sometime. I got bored once and spent like a month figuring out how to make a good sourdough, it'd be a shame to let all that work go to waste just because I can't have carbs.